if i ever push you away, i don’t really mean to. when i tell you i don’t want to talk ab’ it, i do, i am just looking for the right words. give me a minute, and if i can tell you, i will. i try to be a struggling mix of real and perfect at the same time. at that moment, i am working on ratio. when i get too quite sometimes it is because i have too much to say, and i have thought of too many things to tell you at once, and i just don’t know what to say at once. i miss you terribly, but i also like that we can actually be apart and both are okay ab’ it. space is good too. my head is complicated piles of thoughts, fears, cravings, dreams, and this tangled up nostalgia for the past and somehow..the future. i am human, i am flawed, i am broken and i am trying, i am only one person an i am two hands. i love you and i am glad you are here.
